It may well be that the depression has a component caused by either the surgery itself (which is a great shock to the body and mind) or to the medications before, during or after the surgery. You also say that some of it was caused by having to depend on your wife and son for help in doing things which you feel you should have been able to do yourself.
Please remember that EVERYBODY needs help at sometime or another in their life, and allowing the people who love you an opportunity to be the one to help gives them a chance to give back some of the support you have given them. Our culture does everyone a great disservice by erroneously teaching men that we are the ones who help our families and that once we have accepted help from others we are no longer fit to be “leader of the pack.” We are no longer “pack animals”. We are “families” of thinking and caring beings.
We must all work together for the good of all of us; and that includes being strong enough to sometimes say, “I need help.” It can be one of the most difficult things for a man raised in our society to do, but it can make a family much stronger, and the shared love so much dearer. I learned a long time ago, shortly after I got out of the service, that even the strongest man needs to lean on friend’s shoulders now and then.
I was able to deal with what was probably a bit of PTSD from combat, by crying on friend’s shoulders when things got to be too much to handle by myself. The relief that followed allowed me to collect myself and to find a way to safely go on with my life. It also allowed me to share myself with others, and they with me; and I’m probably a stronger person for it. You are lucky to have a family who wants to be there with you. Glory in their love and see what all of you can do for each other, even when the “doing” is receiving.